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Like Rodney Dangerfield, Karl Benz gets no respect. The highly regarded inventor of the automobile, the man who put the Benz in Mercedes-Benz, is no longer associated with the German company's highest-performing machines?all vehicles formerly marketed as Mercedes-Benz AMGs are now simply known as Mercedes-AMGs. Meanwhile, the company's most luxurious cars bear the Mercedes-Maybach label.
It's not just AMG products that complete a rebranding scheme for the 2017 model year as Mercedes' new hierarchical naming structure for its crossover SUVs, which mimics its sedans and coupes, now is fully realized. Hence the vehicle you're looking at is not the updated and improved Mercedes-Benz GL63 AMG but is instead the new Mercedes-AMG GLS63. What's in a name? In this case, a lot, and it makes the Mercedes-AMG GLS63 a good deal sweeter than its S-less, Benz-badged predecessor.
Extra icing is applied to the big Mercedes, but the sweetest dollop sits under the GLS63's hood, where AMG's 5.5-liter twin-turbocharged V-8 engine now produces a neck-snapping 577 horsepower, a gain of 27 hp. Torque remains the same at 561 lb-ft. The hand-built engine's punch is channeled to all four wheels through a quick-shifting seven-speed automatic transmission that can be manually operated via fat metal paddle shifters connected to the back of the GLS63's meaty three-spoke steering wheel. The result is a behemoth weighing nearly three tons that's nonetheless able to hustle to 60 mph from a standstill in 4.3 seconds and through the quarter-mile in 12.8 seconds at 111 mph. The GLS63 isn't just quick, it's wicked quick, besting the last GL63 AMG we tested by 0.5 and 0.4 second in those metrics. Another perspective: Our 435-hp long-term 2016 Ford Mustang GT, which at 3782 pounds weighs 2076 pounds less than the GLS63, reaches 60 mph in the same 4.3 ticks and needs an additional tenth of a second to cover the quarter.
The GLS63 isn't shy about telling others what it's about, either. Compared with its forebear, the GLS63 brings the latest Mercedes and AMG design touches to the seven-seat luxury liner's exterior. Our test vehicle's understated black-on-black theme drew little attention from passersby or law-enforcement types, but the burbles and pops emerging from the GLS63's two exhaust pipes?the quad tips seen from behind are faux ?announce that this SUV's sheep's clothing conceals a massive wolf that's ready to pounce.
The snarls are most prominent when the console-mounted Dynamic Select control is moved to the Sport+ setting, which also lowers the ride height, stiffens the dampers for more spirited driving, and quickens throttle response. The selector also offers Comfort, Sport, Slippery, and Individual modes. We mostly kept the GLS63 in Sport+, as Comfort mode wasn't much more comfortable?we were pleasantly surprised at the reasonableness of the ride quality, given the oversize wheels?while Sport bridged some purgatorial gap that seemed to marry the less responsive throttle found in Comfort with the stiffer suspension setting of Sport+; it was arguably the least desirable of both worlds. (We never needed Slippery mode when testing in summer weather, nor did we use Individual, which allows drivers to tailor their own custom settings.)
The GLS63 overachieves in track tests beyond acceleration. This bulky crossover seemingly bends the laws of physics by skirting our skidpad at 0.91 g and by coming to a halt from 70 mph in 166 feet?bettering the figures we put up in a 2509-pound Fiat 124 Spider Abarth by 0.04 g and five feet. Much credit goes to the GLS63's 295/40 21-inch Continental ContiSportContact 5 tires. Applaud, also, the Mercedes-AMG engineers who dialed in the GLS63's Airmatic suspension and signed off on its massive 15.4-inch front and 14.2-inch rear brake rotors.
As expected of a vehicle wearing the three-pointed star on its grille, the GLS63 remains a dedicated luxury machine. Rich leather covers the seven seats, while modern convenience features such as heated and cooled front seats, keyless entry and push-button start, a panoramic sunroof, active cruise control, blind-spot monitors, and lane-keeping assist are all standard fare. Also standard is Mercedes's Steering Pilot, a semi-automated driving mode that assists in guiding the GLS63 when the adaptive cruise control is engaged but requires the driver to keep hands on the steering wheel lest a warning pop up in the gauge cluster's screen. Additional features such as heated and cooled front cupholders ($180), manually operated second-row sunshades ($380), and power-folding second-row seats ($400) to ease entry and exit to the standard power-folding third-row seats helped increase the GLS63's luxury and convenience quotients.
The latest COMAND infotainment system, which includes a touchpad atop the traditional control wheel, provides access to the various systems, but many key features, such as the HVAC and audio controls, are operable via hard buttons on the dash or steering wheel. If asked to nitpick, we could wish the COMAND controller were positioned a little farther forward?it works best for tall drivers who have the seat adjusted to the rear of its travel. We also find it odd that Mercedes doesn't allow use of the built-in navigation system whenever a phone equipped with Apple CarPlay or Android Auto is plugged in. In general, trying to fiddle with the touchscreen layouts of either phone operating system becomes difficult when the user is forced to use the COMAND knob. (Mercedes has yet to add touchscreen capability to its vehicles.) Plus, the heavy bolsters on the front seats that do such a great job of holding occupants in place on our skidpad also make a chore out of entry and exit. Good thing those seats include a standard massage function to relax strained muscles and reduce long-haul fatigue.
Admittedly, these are small annoyances that any consumer looking for a machine such as this one will surely tolerate. Only the Tesla Model X P90D offers a competitive combination of performance and people-carrying capabilities. While the Tesla falls behind the AMG around our skidpad by 0.05 g and needs six additional feet to come to a halt from 70 mph, when properly equipped, the battery-powered crossover spanks the GLS63 in outright acceleration. We coaxed a $133,700 Model X P90D with the Ludicrous Speed option to 60 mph from rest in a mind-bending 3.3 seconds and through the quarter-mile in 11.8 seconds?a full second quicker than this ridiculously quick GLS63 in both measures.
Of course, the all-electric Model X P90D's EPA-rated 250-mile range can't compete with the AMG's 470 miles of highway range, a figure that's more a testament to the GLS63's massive 26.4-gallon fuel tank than its fuel economy, which is listed at a thirsty 13 mpg city and 17 mpg highway by the EPA. Still, at a steady 75 mph in our 200-mile real-world highway fuel-economy loop, the GLS63 overachieved by managing 18 mpg. But, in mixed driving, our lead-footed staffers managed just 13 mpg overall.
On the passenger-carrying front, the GLS63's second-row 60/40-split bench seat can be manually reclined and offers a fold-down center armrest, while Model X middle-row passengers must do without the armrest. Meanwhile, the GLS63's third row provides 35 inches of legroom and 38.9 inches of headroom, figures that compete with the rear seats of many compact luxury sedans, and a full 2.3 and 1.8 inches more legroom and headroom than the Tesla affords its rearmost riders. Cargo room for the GLS63 ranges from 16 cubic feet with all seats in place to a Cadillac Escalade?like 94 cubic feet with both the second and third rows folded.
Our test vehicle also was prewired for a rear-seat entertainment system ($170) and came with a set of wheel locks ($150) to ensure the GLS63's pretty multispoke 21-inch wheels don't go wandering off and a trailer hitch ($575) to help take advantage of the 7500-pound towing capacity. All told, our GLS63 cost a healthy $126,880, only $1855 of which was attributed to options. Still, the AMG cost $6820 less than the Ludicrous Speed?equipped Tesla Model X P90D we tested.
True, the Mercedes-AMG GLS63 is silly, expensive, and totally unnecessary; a Mercedes-Benz GLS450 offers just as much utility with better fuel economy and performs well enough for anyone who can be satisfied with something less than ludicrous. Even so, we can't help but swoon over this enormous roadgoing Concorde that effortlessly blends luxury, size, and performance. Sensible or not, the Mercedes-AMG GLS63 deserves respect. We're tellin' ya.
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