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Like its spirit animal, the massive, majestic American buffalo, the American-made Mercedes-Benz GL450 is ideally suited to the wide-open spaces of our vast continent, where it can roam widely, consuming a vast amount of natural resources.
Like the buffalo, the GL once ran with huge herds-in this case, of full-size SUVs across North Ameri*ca. Times have changed for these mechanical bovines from when nearly a million Ameri*cans bought them every year. In 2013, the class managed only about 350,000 sales. But the GL is a survivor. This second-generation GL, which arrived for the 2013 model year, has been outselling the Cadillac Escalade and Lincoln Navigator combined.
To check the health of the dominant member of the luxury-SUV class, and because we have children and junk to carry (and junky cars to tow), we ordered up a 2013 GL450 and immediately headed out on the buffalo traces that we call interstates. And, for the sake of extending our buffalo metaphor beyond all reason, we specified the company's Dakota Brown Metallic paint.
We chose the 450 version, with its 362-hp, twin-turbo 4.6-liter V-8, because it sits at the fat end of GL sales. The optional *diesel would have been more efficient. The upsized V-8 of the GL550 would have proven unnecessarily quicker and also thirstier and more expensive. And the 550-hp GL63 AMG is just crazy.
Starting at $64,805, the GL450 seemed not gallingly expensive by full-size luxury-SUV standards. Somehow, though, we managed to pile $26,040 in options onto our three-row family truckster, bringing the total bill to a staggering $90,845. But hey, you didn't expect us to go without chrome door-handle inserts and hood-fin covers, did you? By the way, those shiny bits cost $225.
Other arguably unnecessary or frivolous items included illuminated running boards, a chromed exhaust, and 20-inch wheels for $1340; heated rear seats for $620; a heated steering wheel for $225; pano*ramic sunroof for $1090; black leather seating surfaces for $1620; heated/ventilated front seats for $570; power-folding second-row seats for $400; and that brown metallic paint for $720.
Functional options included Mercedes' $2800 Driver Assistance package (active blind-spot assist, active lane-keeping assist, and radar-based cruise control); its $1290 Parking Assist system with cameras that provide a 360-degree view of the vehicle's surroundings; the $2900 Active Curve system (active anti-roll bars to snub body roll); a $550 towing package; $1290 curve-illuminating headlights with adaptive high-beams; and an $1800 On/Off Road package (two locking differentials, six transmission settings, and adaptive dampers), which really only ever saw use on road.
Possibly, by now you've divined that our truck was loaded to the hood-gills. Oh, and because the GL would serve as our road-tripper of choice, we felt that the $1950 twin-screen, rear-seat entertainment package was critical to long-term mental health.
To say the GL450 hit the ground running is to massively understate the case. In the bronze bus's first two months, we covered more than 10,000 miles visiting (on separate trips) Kentucky, New York, South Carolina, and Virginia, in addition to commuting to and from the office. And we were smitten. The logbook filled with kind words about the long-term comfort of the seats and a highway ride so soothing that it was almost narcotic. A few of us even began to feel comfortable with the radar-directed cruise-control system that, on long slogs, relieved operators of the tedious business of maintaining a set speed and a safe distance from the car ahead.
That was the curious thing about the GL: Nobody really enjoyed driving it as we would a car. The steering is superlight and artificial feeling. The body rocks fore and aft in day-to-day traffic. And the lazy throttle calibration can lead to graceless departures from a stop. But hey, you don't expect a buffalo to be able to dance the waltz-at least not well. And, in its element, which is to say covering many miles quickly and quietly on interstates, the GL was a supremely evolved conveyance.
Powertrain performance was never a concern. The 5855-pound GL450 got to 60 mph in 5.9 seconds at the beginning of its stay with us, and dropped an insignificant tenth of a second to 5.8 seconds after 40,000 miles. The quarter-mile remained a steady 14.4 seconds from beginning to end. That's as quick or quicker than is necessary, strictly speaking, for such a vehicle. Never once did any complaint about the seven-speed automatic make it to the logbook. It swapped gears smoothly and eagerly enough. Braking performance was good, too, considering the weight of the thing. It posted a 70-to-0-mph stop of 179 feet on its first test and improved by 10 feet on its final one.
What those braking numbers don't tell you is that the GL's mushy brake pedal meant that drivers sometimes misjudged the vehicle's decelerative performance and found, halfway through a stop, that they needed to add more braking force in a hurry. Adding to the impression that the anchors might be a bit overmatched by the heft, we suffered three bouts of vibration under braking. At 11,592 miles our dealer replaced the rear rotors. At 15,154 miles, we returned to our dealer for fresh front rotors to quell the returning vibration. When the shakes came back again at around 30,000 miles, we hoofed it back to the dealer for another new pair of front rotors and pads. All of this was under warranty and cost us nothing. But it did mean we had to make a couple of unscheduled visits. The only time the braking system actually cost us money was on our second front-rotor replacement when the dealer deemed our rear pads to be excessively worn and not covered under warranty. New pads, wear sensors, and labor totaled $493.
We made another unscheduled dealer visit at 18,458 miles because the chrome trim on the driver's door was peeling off. A new piece was fastened. But the same strip of trim separated and flew off on the expressway just before the 40,000-mile mark. We also managed to break the release handle on the second-row seat. All of the above was covered under warranty, as was the hood-release lever that we tore clean off the underside of the instrument panel at around 38,000 miles. The only faulty trim bit that we actually were on the hook to pay for was a wiper-arm cover that was liberated from the vehicle by an automatic car wash. That cost us $22.
The brake system's weaknesses concerned us a bit. The rest of the issues were minor nuisances. We were perplexed, though, by the vehicle's occasional electro-psychotic episodes. Apropos of nothing, the GL's massively complicated electrical systems would just take a break. Sometimes the rear cameras would fail to function. Sometimes all of the electronic safety nets would throw their tiny silicon hands up and refuse to do anything but warn us that they were inoperative. Thankfully, cycling the ignition always set things straight. The dealer could never find a fault with the vehicle, possibly because the GL had gone back on its meds in the intervening time. But it was frustrating. On one occasion, we hopped in the GL on a particularly frigid morning to find its battery completely dead-that would be when we yanked the hood-release lever off the SUV. A jump from a kindly woman in a rusted-out Ford Windstar got us moving again.
The GL required five scheduled service stops for the 40,000 miles, totaling $1886. The 40,000-mile service alone (including an oil change; tire rotation; fuel, air, and cabin filters; and a brake-fluid flush) cost us a hefty $678. Combine that with the GL's 16-mpg average over its stay, and the cost of running this bus was substantial.
On the upside, the GL450 was, for many of us dwellers of the upper Midwest, the ultimate snow machine during what proved to be the ultimate snow season. The thing was simply unstoppable. We used Pirelli Scorpion Ice & Snow tires during the winter, which helped a great deal in that regard.
Despite its outsized appetite for brake rotors and occasional spells of pure crazy, we remain stubborn fans of the GL450's accommodating interior, smooth powertrain, and easygoing demeanor. And, you know, buffalo aren't exactly perfect, either.
There is no long-term vehicle in our current test fleet that engenders such rude behavior from our editors as the 2013 Mercedes-Benz GL450 4MATIC.
We say rude not in the sense as if we were talking about behavior in a Boss 302 Mustang or Subaru STI. We don't mean rudeness behind the wheel. In fact, the GL450 has a positively narcotic effect on our drivers, as if it were a 5855-pound brown lump of opium. This posh family hauler is an anti-aggression-mobile.
No, the problem arises at the sign-out board in our equally posh headquarters in Ann Arbor, Michigan, as editors jostle to reserve the GL450 for road-trip duties. Feel obligated to take the kids to an indoor water park to test their immune systems? Sign out the GL! Need to take a pack of knuckleheads to a pond-hockey tournament in the northern reaches of civilization? The GL goes nicely with the sweet scent of sweaty hockey gear.
It was on one such road trip in February that the GL450 showed its supremely capable nature and a couple of its more troubling traits.
Frozen Driver Assistance
The GL returned unscathed from a three-month stay in the wilds of Montana with one Mr. Phillips but was waylaid by a trip to a quaint lakeside resort town in northern Michigan. We parked the GL about 100 yards from the shores of Lake Michigan one night. The next morning, the GL was half-buried in snow blown in on a biting wind from the lake. This proved to be too much for the GL, which then refused to start. It refused to do anything at all, in fact. We grabbed the hood release, and the frigid piece of plastic broke off in our hand (earlier in the car's stay, a second-row seat release lever broke). Luckily, the hood released, despite the now-dangling lever. The engine bay was packed with snow blown in through the front grille. A quick jump-start from a kindly woman in a Ford Windstar with rusted-out rocker panels, and the GL was revived.
With a full tank of fuel, we chose not to turn off the engine at all on our 250-mile trip to our southern-Michigan home. We steamed along at a comfortable clip while the kids in the second row were quieted by the dual-screen entertainment system and wireless headphones. We allowed the Distronic radar-based cruise-control system to take charge. And on lightly trafficked expressways, the system acquitted itself brilliantly, keeping the driver and the front passenger unnaturally calm and uninvolved with the business of driving.
We'd almost forgiven the GL its missed wake-up call. But the electrical gremlins that live inside the GL were a bit more active than we were. They are the ones, presumably, that set off a cascade of warning messages in the driver information screen between the main gauges. Distronic was disabled. Then the lane-departure system was disabled. Then we stopped paying attention to the warnings and just finished the drive, not wanting to take the chance of stopping the engine. Once home, we cycled the ignition and-shazam-all the warnings cleared and all the "driver assistance" aids were once again assisting.
This might not be such a big issue if it weren't for the fact that we've experienced a bunch of odd but noncatastrophic and ultimately undiagnosed electrical mishaps over the truck's stay with us. The rearview camera, the ignition, and the entertainment systems have all taken unexpected naps on us. These faults cleared themselves with a simple cycle of the ignition. But they leave a mild sense of foreboding, as if surely the whole thing would go full schizo on us one of these times. Perhaps predictably, our dealer can never find the fault when we take the truck in.
Springing for Brakes before Spring Break
Since our last update, in October, we took the GL450 in for its routine 30,000-mile service. The $364 service included an oil change, tire rotation, dust/pollen filter replacement, and various inspections. Our dealer dinged us for $493 in December for rear brake pads and rear brake-wear sensors, which were not covered under warranty. On the same visit, the dealer replaced, under warranty, the front brake rotors and pads to quell a persistent vibration under braking. A particularly aggressive automatic carwash ripped off a wiper-arm cover. The replacement part ran $22. Heroically, we installed this part ourselves. As we write this, we await a call from the dealer to tell us when our replacement hood-release lever will arrive.
Certainly, the GL450 has not been faultless. And we're not impressed by the truck's 16-mpg average or the creaks that have developed in the structure. But despite the occasional visits of electrical gremlins and the truck's ever-present thirst for fuel, we still reach for the GL450 key when we want to swiftly transport a large amount of cargo (human or otherwise) in comfort. In fact, we have a spring-break road trip planned. And-surprise!-we're taking the GL.
We last reported on our long-term Mercedes-Benz GL450 when it had 8979 miles on its clock. That was last May. Five months later, our 13-window Bus of Bronze whooshed past the 25,000-mile plateau. This thing accumulates miles like Willie Nelson's bus. Course, ours smells better and is easier to park. Well, a little.
So far in this seven-seat SUV's life, we've spent $844 on scheduled pit stops-oil changes, tire rotations, fresh brake fluid, dust filter, and so forth. On one scheduled maintenance at 20,000 miles, Benz mechanics were required to inspect the trailer hitch. ("Still there? Sure looks like it. Must be okay.")
Other issues were covered under the four-year/50,000-mile warranty. These included new rear brake rotors (they were vibrating); a new backup camera; a few trim pieces whose chrome had peeled; and a start/stall issue the dealer couldn't pinpoint but that has since evaporated. None of which cost us a dime, but the wobbly rotors certainly induced a few knitted brows. Mind you, stopping nearly three tons of SUV in only 179 feet understandably taxes the whirling parts.
In city traffic, the GL450 is something of a moose in a Pilates class-a bit ponderous, awkward, blending into traffic only when woolly-mammoth-size holes open up, and its steering tells you almost nothing at all. This is one SUV in which you will study the camera before backing out of your Safeway slot. Of course, the trade-off is that our bus is otherwise one of the world's finest long-distance interstate cruisers, its height and massive windshield offering vast downrange sightlines. Plus, it's quiet-4 dB quieter than, say, the Land Rover Range Rover Supercharged at wide-open throttle. On the slog from Ann Arbor to Montana, one of us slept quite soundly for three hours in the super-comfy middle seat, leg-twitching dreams and all. Taking turns driving, two of us covered 1100 miles that day, and at one point on I-90 in a desolate stretch of North Dakota, which describes the entire state, we sampled the Bus of Bronze's 130-mph top speed, fast fleeing Fargo.
Magic-Carpet Ride
The air-spring suspension delivers a magic-carpet ride in its default setting. It's actually too pillowy, with plenty of porpoising on accel and decel. The Sport setting imposes firmer discipline, but you rarely remember to dial it to Sport until you've already wallowed through that first hairpin.
Throttle tip-in is peculiar-gooey at first, producing little forward motion, then all of a sudden, "Hang on, Newt, she's headed for the alfalfa!" And that's when two bags of groceries topple. Also requiring a little practice is the grabby long-travel brake pedal, which mandates a delicate application or the third and fourth bags fall over, too.
Our bus's next adventure will entail some minor Montana off-roading, testing its 8.5-inch ground clearance and super-slippery running boards, which true off-roaders consider an infected pustule on the nose of two-track travel.
Drink Up
Not surprisingly, the 362-hp V-8, asked to haul 5855 pounds to 60 mph in 5.9 seconds, has a serious fossil-fuel drinking habit. So far, our GL450 has managed an observed mpg of only 16. Of course, if you can afford an (as-tested) $90,845 SUV, maybe fuel isn't a worry. Thing is, we all share the same planetary atmosphere, so maybe it should be a worry. Those repeated 26-gallon fill-ups certainly scorched our nerve endings, not to mention our credit cards.
What we have here is a veritable living room of a family road tripper, an incredibly opulent and comfortable Teutonic freighter that is as capable as a Chevrolet Suburban at twice the price. It ticks all the boxes of irrational desirability. Carries them all, too.
Somewhere in southwestern Pennsylvania we realized we were driving faster in our Mercedes-Benz GL450 4MATIC seven-passenger long-term SUV than the Porsche 914 2.0 behind us had probably ever driven.
Oh, and that 914 was strapped to a trailer hitched to the back of our big root-beer-brown GL. Adding roughly 4000 pounds to the Mercedes' burden had essentially no effect on it, even over curly, undulating highway through the hills. Surely, it was slower than when the truck was unburdened (0 to 60 mph, 5.9 seconds; quarter-mile, 14.4 at 97 mph). And goodness knows the distance required to stop the thing was considerably longer than at the test track (70 to 0 mph, 179 feet). But thanks to the portly torque curve of the GL450's 362-hp, 4.7-liter twin-turbo V-8, fade-resistant binders, and silken body movements, we kept forgetting about the trailer until we'd glance at the rearview mirror and be momentarily shocked by how closely that 914 was tailgating us. We had to remind ourselves to keep our speed in check.
And remember, this is with the "smallest" gas engine. We could have ordered up a 429-hp GL550 (67 more horses than in our long-termer) or the 550-hp GL63 AMG (188 more). Neither is even remotely necessary for the light-duty work we have in mind for our 40,000-mile test. Or we could have specified a GL350 BlueTec with its 3.0-liter turbo-diesel churning out 455 lb-ft of torque (49 more lb-ft than in our tester). Didn't need that, either.
Instead, we wanted to get a taste of the most-mainstream, highest-volume model. So we ordered a GL450 4MATIC (they're all 4MATICs), which starts at $64,805. We had it covered in a lovely shade of Dakota Brown Metallic ($720) and lined it with black leather ($1620) and then ticked off so many options boxes that we ended up with a $90,845 luxury freighter. The highlights are the Driver Assistance package ($2800) with active lane keeping, blind-spot assist, and adaptive cruise control; Active Curve Control ($2900), which consists of active anti-roll bars to snub body listing; a two-screen rear-entertainment system ($1950); three-zone automatic climate control ($1450); the Lighting package ($1290) with bixenon headlamps that swivel into a turn and adaptive high-beams; and the Parking Assist package ($1290) with Parktronic and surround-view cameras. We also got a big ol' package that costs $3500 and comes with such niceties and frivolities as illuminated front doorsills; auto-dimming and power-folding mirrors; memory seats, mirrors, and steering wheel; satellite radio; and a navigation system.
Oh, We're Not Done Yet
We ordered heated and ventilated front seats ($570) because we demand our cheeks remain at a moderate temperature at all times. Next, we added a heated steering wheel ($225), a trailer hitch ($550), heated rear seats ($620), and the easy-entry second-row power release ($400), which sounds like something a Mercedes SUV should have. (We will be forgetting our key all over town now that we have the pushbutton Keyless Go system for $650.) Feeling especially upper-crusty, we got the Accessory Chrome package ($225) that brings chrome-trimmed door-handle inserts and "hood fin" covers. To be ready for anything, we ordered the On/Off-Road package ($1850) that comes with some under-body protection, two locking differentials, six transmission settings, and adaptive dampers. (So far, we've tried only the "on" part of the On/Off-Road package, but the system served nicely to confuse the salespeople at a Virginia Mercedes dealership who had never seen the off-road option on a GL.) And, because we care about our appearance, we specified the Appearance package ($1340), with its chrome exhaust tips, 20-inch wheels, and illuminated running boards.
As you might guess for a super-comfortable, long-range bomber with a rear-seat entertainment system and the capability to tow, the GL450 has been in extremely high demand. We have no way to prove this, but it's hard to imagine that any other long-term car has accumulated miles as quickly as this one has. We've covered 8900 miles in just short of two months. If we keep that rate up, we'll have 53,400 miles on the Benz in 12 months. The GL450 has been on two family-vacation trips, one to South Carolina and one to upstate New York. It went on the Porsche-fetching sojourn to Virginia Beach. And that was all in the span of about two weeks.
Out in the shipping lanes of the interstates, none of us cares that the GL's stability control system is more aggressive at limiting instability than any other in recent memory. This is a supreme highway cruiser-quiet, plush, stable, and packed with a day spa full of pampering. What's not to love? Well, maybe we'd be happier if our mileage were better. We've averaged 15 mpg in the first 8900 miles. And we'd be willing to bet that a higher-than-usual percentage of those miles were on a highway. What else? Well, those who would like the GL to be something other than a very comfortable, very roomy luxury conveyance are sometimes unhappy with the softness of the suspension. And the DVD system is a little difficult to get working. And we weren't all that pleased to have to take the GL450 to the dealership to replace a second-row seat-release lever at 7335 miles. Naturally, the repair was covered under warranty. But these are problems the majority of the world's denizens would kill to have in their $90,000 SUVs.
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